


Puzzles

by shadowsorel



Category: Deadmau5 (Musician), Skrillex (Musician)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Love Confession, M/M, well not exactly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1590521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowsorel/pseuds/shadowsorel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joel analyzes his life and strives to find the perfect piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puzzles

Joel shut the computer off. Here he was, ending another Ustream, as usual. For the past two weeks, his activities have settled into a rather vague schedule, but it was still a schedule. It’s just that this schedule usually consisted of waking up, eating, working, maybe eating again, working, eating, cleaning himself, and sleeping. And maybe some self-loathing in between.

For most people, it would bore them to great extents and maybe even drive them crazy. Not Joel. Joel was actually glad that his life had settled into a routine, if only temporarily, because it was peaceful compared to his usually thrilling yet overly-chaotic life. He was free to do whatever he wants, but then again, he was always was. The only noticable differences were the extra amount of time he had and the fact that his heart was no longer in anything he did. So he could simply go to a store and intentionally get lost in it for fucking hours and still have plenty of time to do anything.

But no. He didn’t feel like going to any store. He didn’t feel like coffee. He didn’t feel like coke. He didn’t feel like speeding around a track or wearing a mau5head or any headgear at all. He didn’t even feel like plopping down on the couch and scratching his balls. Then again, who does?

He needed to get out of the house, he decided. So he picked the keys up from the first step where he may have dropped them and strolled out of the house, taking his sweet time to get to the car. When he did, he gently ran his fingers over the hood, admiring the smooth paint, slowly dragging them to the car door handle before prying it.

Without a sound, he climbed in, shoved the keys into the ignition and turned them.

As it turned out, today was the day he nearly hit a biker, who decided that it was a great idea to pedal on the lane to their left. Even after the close encounter, they shrugged it off and continued to pedal on the lane to their left.

Today was also the day he decided to cruise around the city. Each building stood still, yet gave off a welcoming vibe, comforting Joel. However, Joel was so comforted, he received a ticket for driving too slow. At that point, Joel said, “Fuck it,” and drove back home.

He turned the key in the ignition and yanked them out. He climbed out and stormed to his house. As soon as the front door was open, Joel angrily threw down his keys, not giving a shit where they ended up. The clash of the keys echoed through the house. A small whine was given in response.

It was not his own voice.

As he was approaching the living room, Joel could hear small, quiet breaths… accompanied by ear-splitting snoring. He followed the unpleasant sounds to—

No.

_No._

_Nononononoitcan’tbe._

Of all people,  _Sonny_  was asleep on _his_ couch. He wasn’t here in the morning, so how did he get there?

The adjacent table had a small note. Joel had no other use for it aside from picking it up and reading it.

_Hey. Found him out cold near the bus. Think he might’ve had one too many. I knew you were around. Sorry I had to leave him here._

_-Rob_

"What the fuck, Rob?!" Joel yelled. "How the fuck did you even get in my fucking house?!"

He flipped the note.

_P.S.: You left the door unlocked._

"Mother—" he screamed before cutting himself off. He could only blame himself for that. But then he realized he was screaming at a note and it would make no difference whatsoever. Except, you know,  _waking Sonny up _. It was the last thing Joel wanted. For now, at least.__

Joel’s eyes seemed to be fixed on the smaller man on his couch, who was happily snoring away. He allowed himself to actually observe him. His long, stringy hair splayed on his head and the end of the couch. His thin lips that wouldn’t fucking close due to his snoring. His legs bent and pulled close to his chest. He didn’t get to see his eyes, of course, being shut due to his stupid ass getting drunk, passing out, and possibly getting killed.

What would he do without the little guy?

Seeing Sonny sleeping on the couch actually made him look…  _innocent_. Kind of cute, really. Especially with the little moans and squeaks he made when he wasn’t snoring.

Wait. Did he just think Sonny was  _cute?_

He’s not so sure why he’s still surprised by this. He’s not sure how long it had been since he started to stare at him. He’s not even sure when he started to stroke Sonny’s hand and fiddle around with fingers, slowly and gently bending them and maybe entwining one of them with his own. He was slightly caught off guard when Sonny’s hand started to return the favor, running across his. Only then did he realize Sonny was actually waking up and turning.

"Huh…?" he groaned.

"Shit! Sorry about that. I—"

"It’s OK, mang," he reassured, rearranging himself in a sitting position. "Just… how’d I get here?"

"Rob ditched you here. Apparently you passed out near a bus."

"Fuck," he muttered. Unsure what to say, now that he was awake and actually in control of his body, he wanted to make up for sleeping on his couch. But all he could manage was a "You OK?"

Was he OK? When was the last time Joel remembered being OK? Around the last time he was with  _her_ , he figured. He really wanted to make it work, because he really wanted to settle down and lead a decent life. But why didn’t it work?

Life is one big puzzle, and each aspect of it was a piece.  _She_  was a piece Joel thought he really needed. And he did need her, but for some reason, the piece didn’t fit (be it fate). He still tried to force the piece into his puzzle, but it just fell apart. The moment it did, he plunged into depression, unsure if he could even find a single piece.

And at last, he found one.

"I guess," he finally answered.

He knew for sure Sonny was a puzzle piece. He definitely was, though he didn’t exactly fit perfectly. Though the time without him was more hell with each passing day. He became angry. Angry at who? Angry at Sonny. Why did he have to come into his life and be his happy self? Why is it that when he hangs out with him, he never wants the moments to end? Why is it that when he left he always wanted him back? Why is it that he got a rise out of teasing him? Why is it that when he had not spoken to him, he wanted to lock himself in a room and pound a wall until it came crashing down?

Why did he need him so goddamn much? Why did he need him so much it hurt?

If he was angry, he wasn’t showing it. Joel buried his face in his rather clammy hands.

"Doesn’t look like it," Sonny uttered, not really contributing much.

"I’m fine," he growled.

"Is it abo-"

"No!" Joel interjected. "No it fucking isn’t! Fuck!"

Sonny picked up his glasses from the adjacent table. "You’re a bad liar."

In all sincerity, it was about her… in a way. But it was also about him, that one puzzle piece sitting next to him. He had never felt so conflicted in his life. He was a good friend. Hell, he was his best friend, considering he had taken all that shit from him and still lit up a room. And it’s not that he didn’t want him to be his friend, of course not. But… he wanted more. That was the problem. He knew for sure he wasn’t gay, but Sonny seemed to be an exception… But how would Sonny react? Maybe…

Sonny was a puzzle piece. Maybe Joel just tried to fit him in the wrong place. There was no right time to determine this. Now is as good as ever.

"It’s not about her," he stated, finally a bit calmer. "It’s you."

"What? What about me? What did I do?"

Joel smiled. “You came into my life and fucking ruined it. Everyday, I can’t fucking think straight and it’s been absolute hell since you left.”

Sonny couldn’t help but ask, “What?” It wasn’t that he was confused about the statement, rather it was whether Joel was being genuine or not.

"Look Sonny, I like you. There. I said it. I like you."

"You like me?"

"No," he said dejectedly, deciding "like" wasn’t the right word. "I… love you." He really couldn’t describe it better. But he didn’t really need to. He knew he didn’t.

"Joel," he whispered. "… I love you, too."

Maybe it seemed cheesy, but he figured that as long as it was out in the open, he might as well go a bit further.

"I’ve been wanting to say that for a while." Joel admitted. "But I had no idea about what you would say, how you would act, or if you’d punch me in the face. But now, I’d like to… you know, stay."

"You want me to be in a relationship with _you_?”

Unsure, Joel answered, “We could give it a shot.” It felt so unnatural. Him sounding so casual, yet butterflies were crammed into his stomach, with their wings beating against the lining, and then there’s the fact that he was feeling so incredibly giddy, with his head beyond the clouds.

Joel half-expected a simple “OK”, but was delighted when Sonny pulled him into a kiss, his hands cupping his cheeks. Joel’s hands flung themselves behind Sonny’s back, coaxing his arms to hug the smaller man. His lips weaved around Sonny’s. His tongue had slipped into the younger man’s mouth, tickling the roof and causing him to moan ever so slightly when he started to gently suck on it.

Sonny broke the kiss for about half a second, moaning, “But what about—” before Joel interrupted him by pulling him in again. It still felt strange, not because it was Sonny, but because he was actually happy. He was truly happy (in stark contrast to his depression).

Maybe the piece of the puzzle did fit.

Only time would tell.

And if it did, Joel would most likely be lacking oxygen

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first piece I posted on Tumblr, which is now gone. I'm not sure if I should keep it here at all, but nonetheless, here it is for your enjoyment.


End file.
